SOLITUDE…


A distant, faint flutter. Something in the distance persistently gnawing at his consciousness, tearing down the veil between dreams and reality. “No”, he groans while turning on the cold hard floor, he opens his eyes but it’s still too dark to see anything as the eyes adjust to the dark, he tries to identify the cause of the offensive noise that brought him back to this hell hole. He was far much comfortable in dream world.

There is a faint beam of light coming from way above, he is not sure whether it is the sun or the moon he has seen neither in days. He tries to look at himself and chuckles; he hasn’t seen the color of his skin in days too. He wonders, “Have I grown lighter”. That flutter, again, what is it? Is it a bat or a bird or a rat? He didn’t care; his main concern was if it was edible. “When was the last time I ate?” he thought. He couldn’t remember. It was probably a very bad idea to pick a fight in the yard.

He remembered that day vividly, he was sitting alone on the bench in the yard as usual minding his own business when this little guy from nowhere just comes and starts to pick a fight with him. He is generally a peaceful person when left alone. But this guy just kept on mocking and mocking him. He tried to walk away and that was when all hell broke loose. “yo walking away from me! Nah you don’t,” and suddenly this small guy just jumps on his back and starts clawing at his face, now it became a matter of self-defense.

However, what landed him in this place had nothing to do with self-defense, he enjoyed doing it. It was one of those memories that brought a smile to his face. She deserved it; he cut her up slowly, surely, to his satisfaction, her screams were like the strums of a guitar to his ears. He was a bit disappointed when she finally died. They called him all sorts of names, psychopath, sadist, crazy, weirdo but he didn’t blame them, anyway, what sort of man would curve up his wife. They sent him to a doctor to determine if he was crazy, he wondered why they were going through all that trouble and yet he was clearly guilty and so he cut him up too, just to prove a point.

Damn flutter again, where is it coming from? He walks around the little cell trying to find it, too dark. He goes back to his corner again. He is not really sure if it’s a round cell or a square cell. It could be rectangular. “I should go back to sleep”, he thinks. “Damn the floor is so cold. Can’t this state afford a mattress for their convicts? What happened to humanitarian rights or what’s the word, human or humanitarian? Or is it only humanitarian in those poor third world countries, actually they should just be called basement countries. Where everybody dumps what they do not need”, he chuckles, “Funny how when left alone we come up with ideas.”

Back to more pressing matters, aha! There is the flutter again. Where is it? It could be a bird that is trapped somewhere, but why is it not singing or groaning or whatever those things do, those sounds they make. Maybe it hurt its beak. Just like my throat was crushed by that bully of a warden. “Too harsh a punishment for punching a trouble making bastard, who disturbed my peace and was clearly asking for a beating. How was I supposed to know he was his son? Who brings his trouble maker son to a prison full of hardcore convicts?” he wondered.

Suddenly from the corner of his eye, he saw it! Right there, at the corner in the dark, something twitching. He moved closer, closer…. What is it? It’s a bit shiny, can’t be a bat, maybe it’s a bird, a small wounded bird. “How did it get in here”, He wonders. He picks it up and looks at it, its dying. The faint flutter was the only indication of its small heart trying not to give up. Trying so hard to live, just like his daughter when he held her in a pool of blood all because he asked for a divorce. All because he found her mother cheating and asked that he set her free so that she can sleep with whomever she wants. All because of an ugly and public court case, everybody blamed him, he didn’t understand why. All because she took out a gun and tried to shoot him and the little girl jumped in front of her mother and the bullet went through her heart and his life came to a stop, a cold ruthless stop.

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